Finally A Happy Birthday!

Last week I celebrated my 24th birthday.

And unlike my birthday last year, I was happy to celebrate this time around. Could you blame me? Last year I barely had enough energy to smile every time someone wished me a happy birthday, let alone have the energy to celebrate like a true 23-year-old with drinking and late nights out with friends.

So what did I do this year? I had several "celebrations" that began with a night of drinks at this outside bar overlooked by the Brooklyn Bridge. I also had a more intimate gathering of friends for dinner the following weekend. My coworkers again presented me with some Crumbs cupcakes (my favorite) and I then ate about 6 of them (hey, it was my birthday after all!).

I have started living a normal life again, a life that doesn't involve cancer at all. I barely talk about it anymore, and I like it that way. I'm tired of being the "cancer patient" or "that girl who had cancer." I talk about it with people now as if my experience with cancer was like breaking my arm or something. I'll be so nonchalant about it. Truth is, I just want to put it all behind me now. Going through cancer has made me a stronger person and I'm thankful for that, but I now feel like the "C" word is something I don't even want to let leave my lips otherwise it will become real again, like no one wants to say 'Voldemort' in Harry Potter. (Did I just make a Harry Potter reference in my blog? Yupp)

I did meet one girl who I don't mind talking about cancer with- Rachel, who is also a 20-something recently cleared of lymphoma. Meeting her was a breath of fresh air because I finally have someone to talk to who completely understands everything I have been going through. Everyone knows someone who has been through cancer and they will try to talk to you like they understand, but they don't. It takes first-hand experience to truly understand how much going through cancer sucks, and not only did Rachel have the same diagnosis as me, but she also dealt with getting treatments while being young and starting her career in New York City (sound familiar!?). She just gets it! Anyway, she also blogs (much more than I do) and I really recommend you all read and follow it: http://theperseverancediaries.blogspot.com/

Anyway, since I've been a "normal human" I have been really living life to the fullest. I meditate almost every single day. I believe that stress was the cause of my cancer to begin with, so I do my best to not let my stress or emotions get the best of me. I try to stay at a constant state of peace and happiness. I have been going out with my friends and drinking and dating - probably way too much to be honest - but I have a lot to make up for! Food tastes good again, I can stay awake late, my hair keeps growing out, and I just have ENERGY. Life is beautiful again because I appreciate everything so much more than ever before! I appreciate being able to walk up stairs, for example. STAIRS. I literally think to myself, "wow this is amazing I can just walk up these things!" Funny huh? But not really... being a survivor makes you see the world through different eyes.

So on my birthday last week, all I could think was that last year I was already thinking ahead to that day and wondering if I would be healthy and cancer-free on my 24th birthday. And I was. It was probably the best wish come true.