Six weeks ago I got my bi-annual CT scan. This was only the second scan since my treatments ended early last year, and to be honest I was pretty nervous about it. Nothing happened to warrant my anxiety; I had no symptoms alluding to a new occurrence. I've been living a completely normal life and going about my days as if cancer never happened. Well, today I got the results and the results were good: clean scan! The scar tissue from my tumor is still getting smaller, and there is no cancer. Yippity-freakin-yay!
So life is damn good. I suppose I will always be living with this fear in the back of my head, and every scan that I get I wind up thinking, "what if it came back?" But the truth is that I've been taking really great care of myself. I avoid processed foods, or anything with added hormones or chemicals. I've been exercising. I eliminate all forms of stress from my life. I surround myself with positivity and peacefulness.
I live my life this way because there is no other option for me. My life is so important to me now that every moment is like a gift to me. Sometimes I just sit and feel my breath going into my lungs and I am thankful. My life finally revolves around other things that don't involve getting back to my health. Things affect me again - work, relationships, friendships, personal growth - that never used to affect me because I was so focused on getting better. But now, even the painfully emotional moments or disappointment remind me that I am alive, and I am in a strange way so thankful for that.
To sum it up, nothing sucks after you've beaten cancer. Everything else besides the fact that you are healthy and alive is just peanuts.
Live on :)
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