Radiation Time

Tomorrow will mark my first full week of radiation treatments. If I could sum it all up for you, all I would have to say is this: it's a piece of cake! All of the worrying I was doing when the thought of radiation was first brought up now seems unnecessary. Sure, it's a serious procedure, but it's nothing compared to chemotherapy!

The entire thing takes about 10-15 minutes. All I do is lay still on a table (in my mold!). I don't feel a thing. I have have to go every morning on weekdays for 17 treatments. My last one will be on March 4 (which is also my brother's birthday - he told me that would be the best birthday present he could get! Aww).

I don't have any side effects yet, but the doctor told me that I may experience some fatigue and some skin changes in the areas where the radiation occurs (mainly, some skin discoloration). These don't worry me. Like I said, a little fatigue is nothing compared to being nauseous, bloated, tired, cranky, and miserable 24-7! And the best part of getting radiation? No needles!!!

I don't mean to take this procedure lightly; I am aware that getting radiation includes some risks. However, I can't help but feel overjoyed that the worst is over. In three weeks, I will be finished with all of my cancer treatments. March 10th I will have the last appointment with my oncologist until June.

Eight months have passed since this entire journey began and I can finally say that I'm feeling like myself again! Not only does my hair continue to grow in, but my eyebrows and my eyelashes have also come back! I don't need to wear false lashes or pencil in my eyebrows to look human. Of course, this means that hair growth has restored to my whole body. I'm back to shaving my underarms and legs every day, just like old times! (I never thought I'd be so happy about THAT, but I am!)

I suppose the little things mean so much more to me now. Like walking up stairs -- I can do that!!! And eating?! I can do that too! I don't need to take any medications, and hey! I can even go to the gym and take yoga classes now because I have the energy to! I've been waiting for this for such a long time, and I'm overjoyed that that time is finally here.

Adios Jessica

Check it out!! My hair is starting to grow back, and kinda fast!! Today I stopped wearing my wig to work. The stickers that I use to attach it to my head were starting to pull on my hair and become painful. Therefore, I decided that it must be time to say goodbye to Jessica. (It's been fun, Jessica, but it's time to move on!). Most of my co-workers knew what I was going through, but many people didn't. I shared my story with some, and others I didn't. It's funny because most people think that I cut my hair!! A lot of people told me that it's such a bold haircut but it looks good on me. I think so, too!

Hello hair! I've missed you!

It's kind of nice having short hair for the first time in my life (and much better than having NO hair, too!). If I wasn't forced to be bald in the first place, then I never would have cut my hair to this length. I'm happy that people have been responding favorably to my new look. It really gives me a lot of confidence that I was unsure I would be able to get.

I never thought that it would mean so much to me to be growing my hair again, but I must admit, it feels so damn good to have hair again!!! I keep running my fingers over my scalp to feel my little baby hairs coming in, and it makes me smile. :)

Next Question: Radiation or Not?

Aaaaaand I'm alive!

This week I feel like a human again. Human? you ask. Yes, human. This week is what I would call one of my "human weeks," in which I have energy and feel like my normal self. Days like these feel great - my stomach doesn't bother me, I'm not high on medication all day or drowsy, and I enjoy my food. I wish every day could be like this!

But alas, this Friday I will have to go in again for another treatment - treatment number 5b, to be exact (or #10). After this Friday I will only have TWO more chemo treatments to deal with. Good God the finish line is so close!!!

My next steps are to decide whether I will be receiving any radiation after my treatment. Last week I met with a radiation specialist (who interestingly resembled David Bowie) and we went over my options. Of course, he recommended I get a full dosage of radiation after my treatment, especially because I have a large, bulky mass (tumor) in my chest cavity. However, since I am responding so well to my chemotherapy, my oncologist might recommend something different, whether that be no radiation or a lighter dosage of it. It's really up for the radiation specialist and my oncologist to determine after I get my PET scan results at the end of my chemotherapy treatment.

Of course, this all brings up many thoughts. Mainly, what's the risk involved? Well, if I don't get radiation, there is a high chance - I was told an estimated 40 percent chance - that the Hodgkins can grow back in the same area. If I do get radiation in that area, it will kill any remaining cells, however, it will increase my chances of developing secondary cancers in the future such as breast, lung, or throat cancer - at about an estimated 20 percent chance. So what's the lesser of two evils here?

Here's what I was told about the radiation:

If I get a full round of radiation, it will be about 15-17 treatments, which would take place once a day, every day Monday through Friday (so it would be about three weeks). The treatments themselves would take about five minutes and be just like getting an x-ray. The radiation specialist told me that the side effects would be much less severe than chemo, mostly being just fatigue and maybe some light burning on my skin.

The hard part is to think that after all this is over, there is still a semi-high chance that in my future I will have to go through this all over again, despite what methods I decide on after chemo. I'm not happy about that. However, I am just trying to focus on getting over this hurdle now so I can start living a healthier lifestyle. I need to take one day at a time!

I have a tremendous amount of respect and trust for my oncologist and nurses, so I am sure that together we can all come up with the best possible course of action to take after chemo.

**note: I'd love to hear opinions/experiences about radiation from anyone reading this. Not sure who comes across this blog, but I'm interested to hear what others have to say!