SEX, and other things I can still do.

Last night I had a little dinner party for a couple friends and we got to talking about sex (naturally). My girls asked if I was worried about losing my sex drive during my chemotherapy treatments, and if I could have it.

(Apologies to anyone in my family reading this who think I made it through college and a 3-year relationship without losing my virginity ha-ha).

(Picture: I sent this photo to my friend when he asked if I was "allowed" to still drink beer. Why, yes, as a matter of fact, I was sipping on one at that moment!)

This is actually something that I was curious about when I first got diagnosed. It was one of my first thoughts. HAH. And, coincidentally, it's something a lot of my friends ask me about, too. Oh, people and their constant thoughts of sex!! Animals!

Okay. To answer the question, my sex drive is fully intact. And yes, believe or not, I can still have sex! WHAT! That's "allowed"?!

Well of course it is, you silly willy! But let's face it, some days I have low energy levels so the last thing on my mind is sex, or doing anything active at all, for that matter. Most people I know are educated enough to know that engaging in any intimate interaction with a chemo patient is NOT a contagious situation. DUH. When I first got diagnosed, I was afraid that through my hair loss and wig-wearing and such that I wouldn't get the same kind of attention I was used to getting as an "Alice-Free" Amanda. Well, maintaining my confidence and outgoing personality have not dwindled the attention I get from men at all.

But sex isn't the only thing people ask me about. It's really concerning the simple things people ask me, "are you allowed to do that?"... simple things like hanging out with friends, even.

(Photo: Watching movies in Bryant Park with one of my best friends from grad school.)

On the subject of what I'm "allowed" to do, the answer is really, well, everything. Just because I am going through chemotherapy doesn't mean that I can't enjoy a good beer and pizza or a night out with my friends or hold a job or travel. The key is to just do what I'm comfortable with and to take precautions.

If I am feeling nauseas, then downing more than one or two beers or alcoholic beverages probably won't make me feel any better. Sometimes I choose to just not drink at all when I go out. Nights out with friends might end earlier for me - even if I am feeling okay - just because I think it's best to give my body as much rest as possible. After all, it's working damn hard to kill Alice! I must give it some sleep!

(Picture: NYC night out! Smoking some hooka at a nightclub.)

My immunity is low because my white blood cell count is down. So I carry hand sanitizer with me everywhere and I am constantly washing my hands. (My doctor also prescribed me some antibiotics for this. More meds! Surprise, surprise!). If I am traveling somewhere, maybe I will bring a surgical mask (as weird as that is) to protect me from catching any stray germs from all the people around me. Yeah, that sounds weird [and unstylish on all levels] and I will look like a freak, but if it means being safer, then I'm going to DO IT!

My eating habits are pretty normal, although I have been trying to eat more vegetables and fruit and "healthy stuff" for the sake of my body. But I'm still a firm believer in indulging in a bag of popcorn and gummy bears at the movies. And how could any New Yorker seriously resist some good New York pizza?! Get outta' heeee! (my attempt of typing in a New York accent).

(Photo: Acting like normal crazy person and rocking my funky pink wig!)

For the record, I have asked my doctor about all of these things. During my first visit with him I brought this HUGE list of things I was concerned about. He gave me this "are you effing kidding me" kind of look when I asked him if I could still be a 22-year-old and hang out with my friends during chemo. He's like, OF COURSE YOU CAN!!!! And I have been living a perfectly normal life this entire time, despite all the medications I take and bi-monthly trips to the hospital, and the hair-loss. :)

So to finish up this post, here are a list of things that I have actually been asked whether I can still do while going through chemotherapy. And YES, I can do these!:

- drink alcohol (even though my grandmother hates this)
- go to parties/dinner with friends/bars/nightclubs
- travel on an airplane, subway, drive a car!
- work a full-time job (in media!)
- exercise (not that I have time for it, really)
- look hot and get sexually harassed on the street by random men (and sometimes women!)
- live by myself (and take care of myself, too!)
- dance the night away like a crazy dancing machine
- carry things (I'm a cancer fighter, not handicapped)
- Be around children/babies (and make faces at them when their parents aren't looking. No need to call the police.)
- Smile every day and laugh constantly. Life is more beautiful when you have cancer. Really. For me at least =)